Captain Noonan, the “Bearded Holmes” of the Sandersonville Police Department, was enjoying a day off as far as he could get from Sandersonville and still speak English. He was in Anchorage, Alaska, hometown of his wife and her kith and kin, and the only thing wrong with Anchorage was the ocean was on the ‘wrong side.’ He was used the saltwater to his east but, in Alaska, the saltwater was to the west – and colder.

All was going well until his repose was broken by the advance of a woman wearing the uniform of the Alaska State Police. This, on vacation, was bad news. Afterall, here he was, in a chaise lounge, enjoying a cold beer, with no thought on his mind except the next cold beer in about an hour. He was slathered with mosquito repellent to keep the beasts at bay and the rest of his family – in-laws and outlaws – were off wherever and would not return until whenever. This intrusion of the Alaska State Police did not bode well.

“Let me guess,” the detective said over the top of the open neck of the beer bottle he was holding. “You have a perplexing case that needs resolution.”

The policewoman smiled. “Everyone in your office in Sandersonville said you were a card. They were right. But they did say a joke would speed things along.” She held up her right hand with her middle and index finger in the form of a ‘V.’ “Do you know what this is?”

“I’d guess, ‘V’ for victory.”

“No,” she replied. “It’s how a Roman orders five beers.”

In spite of himself, Noonan had a good laugh. “OK, you got me. I’m in the mood for a problem. Whatcha got?”

The policewoman extended her hand to shake his. “Rachel Sanchez. I was told you were here on vacation and you might have an answer for me. Seems we are missing a bunch of our rescue dogs.”

“Rescue dogs?”

“You know, dogs that have been abandoned or neglected by previous owners. One at a time they are rescued and paired up with loving families.”

“Kind of an adoption service?”

“I guess you could say that. But lately there have been some thefts.”

“Thefts, as in the dogs are missing?”

“Stolen. But it’s odd, the reason I was told to contact you. Technically, the dogs do not belong to anyone. That is, when a dog is rescued, it is taken from an owner. Once that happens, the owner has no more rights to the animal. Then, when a home is found, the dog becomes the property of the new owner. But, in between the old and new owners, the dog has no owner. So, if the dog is stolen, there is no crime so to speak.”

Noonan thought about it for a moment. “But if the dog is in someone’s care, like a kennel, isn’t there a breaking and entering charge?”

“That’s what we thought. The legal beagles, er, eagles, . . .”

“Beagles is fine.”

“The legal beagles told us we were on shaky ground when it came to a crime you could take to court. It’s summer so the kennels are partially outside. The kennels have small houses if the dogs care to sleep but the rest of the kennels are outside. So the dogs can roam around in the sunshine. As you know, Alaska has 20 hours of sunlight this time of year.”

“And the dogs disappeared?”

“Those from the kennels. They were the bigger dogs. The smaller dogs are inside.”

“So only the large dogs are gone?”

“Yup.”

“And the dog nappers got in by, how, snapping a padlock and away the dogs went?”

“Yup.”

“How many dogs are we talking about?”

“About 30 total, half from Anchorage and the others from Fairbanks. That’s why the State Police are involved. Two cities, two sort-of crime scenes.”

“Anchorage and Fairbanks?”

“That’s right. On the same night. Staff in both cities came in for the morning shift and the big dogs were gone.”

“30 dogs.” Noonan furrowed his brow. “Anything the missing dogs had in common?”

“They were all big.”

Noonan chuckled. “OK, let’s try this another way. Let me give you a bunch of questions and I’ll see what I can do for you. Did the dogs have anything in common, how many came from a city, how many came from the bush, any indication the dogs did not go willingly, is anything unusual happening in Anchorage and/or Fairbanks even if it had nothing to do with dogs, how much are the dogs worth if they were sold, have there been any large sales of dog food lately, have the dogs all had the shots required by law and how long were the missing dogs in the kennels. By that I mean, if no one adopts the dogs after a certain period of time, I assume the animals are euthanized.”

“I can give you a lot of the answers right now.”

“Nope. All at the same time. And when you come back with the answer,” Noonan gave his empty beer bottle a lift. “Bring a six-pack of these.”

“Absolutely, Captain.”

“Heinz.”

“Eh?” “Until there’s a crime, it’s Heinz.”

“You got it.”

“I’ll be here as long as my in-laws don’t find me.” He indicated the chaise lounge.

* * *

Twenty-four hours later, to the minute, policewoman Sanchez was back. This time she came with a handful of newspapers, a scrapbook of photographs and a grocery bag. She handed Noonan the newspapers and scrapbook and then sat in a folding chair next to the chaise lounge.

“I can’t remember the order of the questions you asked so I’ll just give you what I’ve got. These,” she said as she pointed to the scrapbook, “are the missing dogs in Anchorage.

I’ve put in a call to the Fairbanks shelter but they have not responded yet. The dogs, in both Anchorage and Fairbanks, come from across the state. There is no consistent pattern.

The dogs taken were older dogs in the sense they had been in the shelter for at least 30 days. The shelters rarely euthanize dogs because they can find homes for the animals though it may take a while. Same for Fairbanks. The dogs were longer term residents. If ‘residents’ I the correct term for dogs.”

“It will do.”

“Since the dogs had been in the shelter for at least 30 days, all had the shots required. There is no indication the dogs fought their dog nappers. The animals have no value in the sense they can be sold. Hey, the shelter is trying to give them away. There have been quite a few large sales of dogfood but then again, this is Alaska, and large sales of dogfood are not unusual. There are dog mushers all over the state so there is no place where dogfood sales are unusual. The only odd sales were to a construction firm on Adak Island, a start-up animal habitat on one of the Fox Island, a wild game refuge outside of Fairbanks and a traveling petting zoo.”

Noonan thought for a moment. “A construction firm?”

“We thought that was odd too. The firm is converting an old military base for modern use. There are lots of caribou and fox on the island. The firm said the dogfood was bought in bulk so it could be used to lure the fox away from the construction sites. They were having problems with fox so the food seemed a way to lure them away from the construction site.”

“Could dogs be used to deal with the fox?”

“We thought that too. The naturalist said probably not. Fox forage for food while dogs have to be fed. A few dogs on site would keep the fox away;  30 dogs was a bit much.”

“And the petting zoo?”

“Dogfood is the most convenient way of feeding the animals. And they have no dogs.”

Noonan thought for a moment and they picked up the newspapers. “Local, I’ll bet.”

“Best I could do.”

“My wife is an Alaskan so I’ve been keeping up with local news. It’s construction season so there are projects all over the state, from the Aleutians to Barrow.”

“Utqiagvik. Barrow changed its name.”

“I stand corrected. Utqiagvik. There are landing strips going in, power generation station going up and water utility lines being laid down. Hunting season hasn’t started and tourists are filling up the hotels. Anything I’m missing?”

“Not much. The only thing not in the papers,” she pointed at the newspapers, “are the long-term projects. The construction projects are here and now. I mean, the construction being done now was planned years ago. There are all kinds of projects being planned that don’t make the papers. One of the biggest is the ongoing transformation of old military bases to housing and prison complexes on remote islands in the Aleutians. But all of those projects are looked upon as pie-in-the-sky. I mean the money may or may not be there in three to five years from now when the actual construction starts.”

“Which islands in the Aleutians?”

“Four or five, depending on how far out you want to look. By ‘out,’ I mean both distance in terms of miles, years and money which may or may not be available when a company wants to build. Not all of any of the island are available for construction. There are military reservation lands, game reserves and other land withdrawals.”

“As far out as Attu?”

“Not that far. Besides, Attu is a National Historic Landmark on most of the island. Other parts of the island still have active World War II explosives yet to be found. Besides, I have yet to hear anything is being planned for Attu.”

Noonan was thinking for a while and Sanchez sat quietly, pen and note pad in hand. Finally Noonan looked up. “Do you know what the most dangerous animal in Alaska is?”

The question clearly caught Sanchez by surprise. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe bear.”

“No. Geese.”

“Geese?!” She was incredulous. “Geese?”

“Yes. They sit on the water of lakes and rivers and when a plane starts to take off, they explode into flight. More people are killed when their plane collides with geese than are eaten by bears.”

“Huh,” was all Sanchez could say.

“I don’t know if you are aware of the fact, but Lake Hood here in Anchorage is one of the most active float plane facilities in America.”

“I didn’t know that. What does that have to do with geese and the missing dogs?”

“I’ll get to the dogs. But first the geese. So many planes at Lake Hood were having problems with geese, say, in the 1990s, the State of Alaska came up with a unique program. The State put three pigs on the small island that was serving as a windbreak for the seaport. All summer long the pigs ate and ate and ate bird eggs. That reduced the number of birds in the flight paths. All summer the pigs gorged on bird eggs. Then, come fall when the birds flew south, the pigs were slaughtered. It was done for a number of years. Apparently it was effective because I have not heard the program was continued.”

“What does this have to do with the missing dogs?”

“My guess – and it is just a guess – the dogs were taken by the people establishing the start-up animal habitat on one of the Fox Island.”

“Why would they need dogs?”

“Again, my guess. All of the Aleutians were explored by the Russians back in the 1700s. One of the things the Russians did was import rats onto those island. That way, if a Russian ship went down, there would be food, meat, on the island for the survivors to eat. The descendants of those rats are still there. Why the refuge people? Because they are going to have to remove the rats to have a successful game refuge. Lots of dogs on the islands will reduce the rat population.”

“But won’t they end up with a dog problem?”

“I doubt it. If those dogs have been in the shelter for longer than 30 days, they’ve been spayed. So those dogs will not reproduce. After a few years, when the game refuge become fully operational, all of the stolen dogs will be dead. And the rats will be gone. That’s my guess. Why don’t you pay the refuge people a call?”

“I’ll do just that. It’s a good guess. A lot better than what we had. Just for you – considering your sense of humor – this is for your effort.” Sanchez handed Noonan the grocery bag she had been holding.

Noonan was surprised. “You know, as officers of the law, we cannot accept . . .”

“Oh, I know that,” Sanchez said smiling. “But you’ll appreciate this gift.”

Noonan slowly opened the bag and looked inside. Then he withdrew the carboard case for a six-pack of beer, the brand he had been drinking the previous day. Except there were only five bottles and they were empty. Noonan looked at Sanchez with question marks for eyes.

“Yesterday you said I was to bring back a six-pack of beer just like you were drinking. Your bottle was empty yesterday so I am bringing back the beer bottles you wanted.”

She smiled and flashed Noonan the ‘V’ sign with her pointer and index fingers.

“Five, the way Romans count.”