Tom Albin fell in love with my mother and married her despite being a single male for most of his adult life. The remarkable part is my mother had five children! Tom had never lived in a house so full. He had one sibling growing up, married his high school sweetheart after serving in the Navy during WWII, and divorced her, childless, several years later. They had been sweet on each other as teenagers, but their lives pulled them in opposite directions as adults. The divorce was by mutual agreement. Tom dated women over the years but found nothing to convince him to marry any of them, until he dated my mother, Doris.
Both Tom and Doris worked in the Pomona, California City Post Office. Tom was the Superintendent of Mail when Doris found her job there. He was the second in command of the busy office, and she a newbie mail handler learning how to sort the mail by mail carrier routes.
It took Tom several years to ask Mom out on a date. That one date was all it took. They took off for Mexico a short time later and got married. Tom sold his house and moved into Mom’s with her and her kids. At that time, I’d already moved out on my own, but there were still four kids living at home with the oldest in his last year of high school, two teenage girls, and the youngest one an active boy of seven.
Tom took to parenthood like a duck takes to water. He was firm but fair, never abusive, but the punishments always fit the crimes. He talked things over with the transgressor and explained his case simply and directly with no yelling, no profanity, no name-calling, and generally no tears. He must have been a wonderful boss.
Tom had severe asthma when we met him. He kept it under control with medication and rescue inhalers, but stresses tended to bring on attacks. Air quality affected him. Mom gave up wearing perfumes. They found indoor activities when smog levels were high or took the family to areas above it or out of its reach.
The day came when he could no longer control his asthma with medications. He retired from his Post Office job on disability. That made a remarkable change in things around the house. Tom told everyone he was the “house husband.” He took over all the duties usually done by the stay-at-home mom of the family. He did the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and child running duties. Mom was not allowed to do much until she got what he felt was the required amount of sleep. Mom worked shifts that ran from 10 PM to 6 AM. so Tom got the kids up, dressed, lunches packed and off to school while she slept. He closed the bedroom door, so his vacuuming and cleaning in the kitchen and living room did not disturb her. Since he did nearly all the cooking, Tom also did the grocery shopping before the kids got out of school. He worked on a tight schedule. He wanted daily chores and homework done before Mom got up so they could have some quality time together before she went back to work that night.
He could be a tyrant on laundry day. He did all the laundry for the family in one day, starting early in the morning. He loathed finding one dirty sock under a bed after he finished the washing, so the child who missed the laundry basket with that dirty sock learned to rue the day.
Nancy and I dropped in for a visit on laundry day one week and learned to call ahead before dropping in the next time. Tom was ready to do the “whites,” which is how he referred to the underwear load, about 10 minutes after we got there. He came asking every member of the family if they had “skivvies” to wash and collecting them on the spot. My siblings pulled the ones they were wearing off and tossed them in his laundry basket immediately. Nancy and I weren’t sure we’d get out of there with our skivvies uncleaned that day!
While Tom ran the ship as house husband, things sailed smoothly. He took such great care of Mom; we grew to love him more and more. The day finally came when Mom retired, and they had more time to do the things they loved. Tom was an avid radio operator and had a huge antenna mounted on the garage. He got his Extra Class Amateur Radio License at the same time Mom got hers. Their licenses were only one digit apart. They talked to people all over the world. Mom loved sewing. Tom went on missions with her to find just the right fabrics for her next quilts. While she was teaching sewing classes in any one of several shops, Tom sat in the car on his mobile radio talking to friends in distant places.
Tommy had a wicked sense of humor and the spirit of a child at times. Our family got together on Christmas Eve every year to exchange gifts and have Christmas Eve dinner with Mom and Tom. I don’t know who was more excited as the youngest children opened their gifts. My husband and Tommy always ended up with my little brother, Ron’s newest toys. Mom and I bought them their own toys every year so Ron had a chance to play with his. It worked. They looked like oversized six-year-olds opening those packages and playing with their new toys.
One year, Tom professed a desire to own a specific shotgun. That same year my husband declared a passion for a particular .22 semi-automatic rifle. Mom bought the shotgun and I purchased the rifle. We swapped guns. Mom wrapped the rifle and labeled it to Tom, while I wrapped up the shotgun and labeled it for my husband. Everyone else in the family was quietly clued in and managed to keep the secret. When Mom handed her package to Tom, I gave my box to my husband and everyone in the room stopped to watch.
Tom got his open first and began to ooh and ahh over his new .22 rifle while my husband pulled the paper off the shotgun and oohed and ahhed over it. Tom looked over and saw my husband holding the shotgun he’d asked for.
He yelled across the room, “Hey! That’s my gun!”
My husband saw him holding the .22 rifle he wanted and yelled back, “And that one is mine!”
They got up, hugged each other, swapped guns and laughed along with the family.
We talked about the Wrong Gun Christmas every year after that. The look on their faces when they saw someone else holding the Christmas gift of their dreams was priceless. Truthfully, I don’t think either of the men thought Mom or I would buy them guns in the first place. We both sneaked money out of the budget for the purchase, made up an excuse to go shopping together, and we both hid the guns under junk in the back of our closets for months. It was worth it.
