Judy is the second child of a German mother and a Lebanese father, born in Germany. She believes she has a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome, but it was never officially diagnosed. What she remembers is that she was different from her classmates in school, and she looked more like her father than her mother. Judy has olive skin and dark, thick hair, very un-German. Her older brother was a normal kid who took after their mother, so he fit in with his classmates in school.
Judy was animal crazy. She bugged her mother for animals and finally talked her into birds, a hamster, and guinea pigs. But, by the time she was 11 years old, she was horse-crazy. The family left their apartment in town and moved into a house in a small village in the country. Judy begged her mother to let her have lessons at the pony club nearby, where she started taking riding lessons. The ponies were mean little things, and the other girls were snobbish and mean to Judy, but she kept taking lessons for as long as she could.
Judy had a difficult time in school because of bullying. She acted a bit different, and she looked different. Kids can be cruel. Her brother picked on her too. She felt out of place and unwanted.
One day she discovered an Arabian stud farm across a couple of fields from their house. She walked over with a friend of hers to see the horses and fell madly in love with them. They were nothing like the mean little ponies she took lessons on. She was not uncomfortable around them and never worried about being bitten or kicked by them. The breeder let the two girls come over and play with the horses in exchange for help mucking out the barn and helping around the farm.
She went through a particularly difficult time in her life about the age of 12. Her parents did not get along well. Her parents talked about divorce. She got a lot of bullying in school the older she got, so there was no place for her to feel safe in her own skin. She developed physical problems with abdominal pains. Her mother took her to the doctors. They did tests on her. The tests all came out normal, so the doctors suggested her mother take her to a psychologist.
For Judy, the pain was real and too big for her to handle on her own. Every school day, she dropped her book bags when she came home and ran to the horses in tears. She sought out Medinaa, her favorite mare. Medinaa was an 18-year-old flea-bitten gray mare, most often pregnant. Medinaa let Judy hug her and cry into her mane until she cried herself out. Then she forgot all the problems in her young life and enjoyed being with the horses. Judy remembered one incident very clearly. She rushed into Medinaa’s paddock in tears and crumpled in a heap. Medinaa came to her and pushed Judy’s chest up with her head. Then Medinaa stood perfectly still and waited until Judy stopped crying. Medinass’s gesture filled Judy with love and a sense of belonging and that she mattered to someone. Judy idolized Medinaa from that moment. Medinaa became her rock, a soul, and a kind of energy she had never been able to connect with before.
For two years, Judy dealt with home where her parents did not get along, the bullying during school, and rushed to the paddocks to spend time with the mares and foals. That farm was a paradise on earth for young Judy. When she was with the horses, all was well with the world again, until she had to go home at night.
Her parents finally divorced two years later. Her older brother stayed with their mother, and her father took her with him and moved to Lebanon. She left her past life behind, all the chaos, the pain, her paradise, and Medinaa. She went to an American school in Lebanon. The bullying stopped. People were more accepting and kinder. Her father was always there, but not her mother or her brother. She missed her horses. She felt more accepted but also felt she didn’t quite belong. She was always “the German.” She continued her studies in Lebanon at an American University. She grew up and made friends. She was in a safe space for her. She got her Batchelor of Science Degree in Clinical Psychology. She wanted her Masters. For an international student in Lebanon, most got their advanced degrees overseas. She applied and was accepted at universities in the UK. But, she met the man of her dreams on the internet. He lived in Australia. She had a lot of friends who went to Australia to study, so she took the plunge. She canceled her plans to go to England and moved to Australia. She was lucky. He was the man she thought he was.
He had two young children from a previous marriage, so Judy became a new wife and mother at the same time. They visited his brother, who lived in the middle of nowhere on massive acreage and had two horses. The horse bug bit her again. She told her husband she wanted one of her own. They sold their home and bought land with a home on it. Within six months, she purchased a horse; a half QH/Arabian named Kira. That horse was her first. She had to learn how to care for Kira as an owner, and it was tough for her. She had no one to ask. The horse taught her many lessons. She eventually found a weanling foal with the same bloodlines as Medinaa and bought him when he was seven months old. When he came to live with her, her paradise was reborn. He is her “heart” horse. She read everything she could find about horses to learn more and hired an experienced trainer to work with her and Lukey.
One incident that stood out for Judy was when her dog passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Judy was devastated and cried and cried. She went to the horses and fell in a heap crying her eyes out. Lukey came and pulled her up by her shirt and stood in front of her the same way Medinaa had 20 years before. She cried it out hugging Lukey and knew then and there he was her “heart” horse.
Her husband decided to quit his job and start his own business. Things got financially difficult for a time. Judy began to make and sell horse rope tack to support her horses. She just needed enough to feed them. She didn’t anticipate the demand and love for her creations, and her business grew beyond her wildest dreams. While she was setting up her online presence, she had to come up with a name. “Judy’s Ropes” was not right for her. She thought and thought about it. Her love for horses began with Medinaa. She named her business to honor the mare who taught her so much about Arabian horses and herself.
Judy told me, “So here I am, almost three years later. Lukey is now three and a half years old. My business has been growing steadily, and Lukey fulfills me and gives me a purpose. Whenever life throws me a curveball, I go to Lukey and Kira. They always ground me and fill my cup. I am a better mother and wife, thanks to the horses. I am a better friend. I am kinder to myself. The horses are in my soul. And not just any horses! It’s the Arabian horse. I can’t build the same connection with other breeds. I’ve tried. The less Arab they have in them, the harder it is for me to connect with them. I am a very sensitive person, a very gentle person. If I handle a “normal” horse, they walk all over me. But give me a sensitive Arabian, and we are on the same wavelength. I am the right amount of gentle for them, and they are the right amount of gentle for me. I have never, in the three years of having him, forced Lukey to do anything. I ask him. And he always does. He has never failed me. And that is the only way I ever want to be with a horse.”
Judy told me she had a time with a slipped disc in her back that forced her husband to take over the horse care tasks for a while. He was never a horse person, but he’s fallen in love with Kira, and she with him. Judy’s goal is to teach her husband to ride so they can ride Kira and Lukey together. I hope the four of them find many Happy Trails together in Australia’s outback.
